Why You Should Stop Giving Advice

mental health personal story Mar 10, 2022

Advice is a dangerous thing. Throughout all my years of YouTube and coaching, I've never, not once, given advice to someone who didn't specifically ask "Can you give me some advice?" 

When living in such difficult moments that arise from just being human, it's only healthy to reach out to grasp onto something or someone. It's what we all crave.

Think about a time where you felt absolutely terrible - this can be even a physical injury too. 

When you reached out to that person, what did you really want? 

You: "Hey man, I'm just so low right now, everything just went so wrong today and I have no energy to even get off the couch"

Friend: "Okay dude. Kale smoothie, B12 vitamins and for the love of God stop eating gluten and dairy. Trust me, you'll feel better"

You: "Ahhhh piss"

I can't tell you how many e-mails I've recieved lately from people who told me that I just need to accept Jesus and I'd be cured, or I need to see a special chiropractor for my back. 

We've all been there when we're in pain and someone says "Oh, well! You have to try this specialist my sisters friends brother saw, Dr. Spinecock." 

In a time of pain, despair or just feeling the heaviness of life, like walking around with a full ass diaper, sometimes we just want to be heard. We just want to be listened to. We just want someone else to know. 

Think about what advice actually is for a second too. It's all based off of the other persons experience of what works for them and what THEY think would be best for YOU. 

There are those moments though when we do ask for advice and take that gamble! Sometimes it really resonates and other times, we recognize that the advice given is the mirror and gateway to their own personal shortcomings and anxieties. 

Listen, in my own personal experience and literally millions of others, stopping gluten, dairy, sugar and exercise saves brains and lives. But advice and counsel needs to be provided at the appropriate time and offered gently. Oh, so gently. 

Be aware of the advice you give and see where it comes from. Why rush to give someone else advice and speak? Listen and be mindful of what listening actually feels like to you. Be there and present for those you love because sometimes, man, that's what the other person is really looking for. 

Matthew 7:5 - first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

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