Personal Update: A Journey Through Hell

You know when you go on an awesome trip and people ask you "How was it?" and there's part of you that knows that no matter how many pictures you show or stories you share, they simply can't understand.

It's not the pictures you took or the things you saw along the way. It was how you felt during your journey that simply can't be explained in words. That's exactly where I'm at in this moment. How could I possibly explain to an audience on stage and through digital mediums what has happened to Scott?

Now, last 9 months have involved heartbreak, loss, grieving, physical injury, chronic pain and the biggest piece of this is antidepressant withdrawal (alongside a global pandemic yay!). Such a sweet combo! Like, gimme a main dish of terrifying existentialism with a side order of lockdown, tall glass of dark Canadian winter nights, and for dessert? Ummmm...how about mental health professionals I simply could not trust. Or the friends who you thought would be there for you during your most difficult time, but they only remained a thought.

This wasn't anxiety and it wasn't depression. This experience was something so foreign to me, but I am so fortunate to have wise people in my life that held me.

I'll be careful with my wording here, but this is where God has never felt closer. I seemed to have forgotten about God for a very long time, even though I went to church every Sunday for the first 20 years of life. 

Maybe some of you can connect with these experiences within the last year too. It's been so hard for so many.

Nevertheless, it wasn't all hell 😁

Alongside these dark demons from antidepressant withdrawal were angels by my side. I'm typing with tears in my eyes as I think of the people who went out of their way to help me and keep me safe. People who knew exactly what my mind and body were doing and held me as I healed and said goodbye to who I thought I was and what I thought I knew. I wouldn't be writing this email if it wasn't for about 20 people who kept me close. It takes a village, man.

I'm not sure how or when to express my experiences to those are willing to listen, but I do know what I have to share will be useful to so many people. I feel so much more equipped to assist others dealing with depression and anxiety because of this lived experience.

This is after all, the heroes journey that we all go through in our lives and we must share the elixir brought back from hell to lighten the world.

I wonder what stories and wisdom you have to share with the world? 🥲

As I "coach" people in my work and speak with schools/corporations, the underlying truth is always that I am nowhere near perfect even though I have something of use to offer. We all carry our own struggle and stumble along our path to the golden sun ☀️

In a future YouTube video and podcast episode, I'd like to share this journey in detail. 🎙 I'm not sure exactly when or how to describe the past year, but it needs to be shared.

The journey is far from over my friends but I'm glad I have you all to share this with today.

Thank you for reading and I wish you all the best in your emotional health and journey.

Scott