Dear Sensitive Men

advice mental health Jan 15, 2022

There's a pretty big misconception about sensitive men. I would consider myself sensitive to the environment and people around me, having that permeable shell which helps me understand what people are going through and what they need in the moment. This is such a blessing in the work I do not only with groups but 1-1 mentorship/coaching. 

This also comes in handy for self-awareness, being sensitive and acknowledging what I'm feeling, where I'm feeling it and what I need. 

Now, the misconception is that being a sensitive man means that we lack a back-bone. We mix sensitivity up with being a feminine or "beta male" LOL. Even saying beta male seems like the most ridiculous term. You can't categorize men this way because we've seen such contradictory behaviours from men. 

The same "alpha male" I see who is jacked at the gym and holds his own at work is the one who gets a dog because his wife wanted one and needs to ask permission to take a piss. The comedian Sebastian Maniscalco does a great impression of the modern father, check him out on YouTube. 

In my personal experience speaking with men around the world through coaching, the ones who are sensitive seem to need personal space, value their own individualism and move further into creating their own identity. 

Sensitivity in men can actually be celebrated but it gets mixed in with terms like 'incels' or even with mood disorders like 'social anxiety' or being 'shy'. Nothing could be further removed from truth, even those these may overlap. 

We want men to care about themselves, their partners, their families and their community. There's no getting away from the fact that we need to give a shit about our psychological and social well-being. 

Being sensitive means you may give a shit about way too much. Heyyyyy, I'm with you, but we got a head start! 

Now what we do is start chipping away at what matters, what's in our control and what's in our immediate sphere of influence. 

Above all the technology we have, the gadgets, the apps and video games, people are looking for others who care. Who care about them and what they do. 

I predict they'll be a massive digital kick back where people will finally discover all of this shit with social media and watching 19 year olds twerk just isn't making them happy. In fact it's making them miserable. Anywayssssss....

To be sensitive is to be available to your needs and when you have the capacity, to be the best personal to help someone else in need of comfort and care. 

It's a superpower but it just takes time to tweak and learn how to use it. To embrace sensitivity and being vulnerable doesn't mean you cry all the time and show the world how much you feel. It means controlling and being disciplined in your emotions to be able to hold what you can and be of service to yourself and others. 

Thanks for reading!

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